I was driving home from Two Rows today in the cold wet weather and I started to ponder about relationships.
Someone mentioned earlier today that no one really dates just to date. But rather, people date to be in relationships. I find it hard to believe that there isn’t a significant percentage of people who just want to enjoy the company of someone without the desire for it to grow into something other than friendship. Hit it and quit it perhaps?
I realized that for the past year or so I’ve had commitment issues. I went from day dreaming about the “perfect” relationship to letting myself date people that secretly, unbeknown to my conscious self, I knew I didn’t really want to be with. I suppose I did it to sabotage myself out of getting into a serious relationship.
The relationship strike probably came about as a bi-product of being in a relationship where I felt like I was reaming myself into a wall. Consistently running head-first into a wall is bound to cause some kind of damage. Not only physical damage mind you, but it could cause prolonged mental anguish as well. This hypothetical wall in my case was probably made of brick and not dry wall. I put everything I had into it in hopes that somehow it’d turn out right, but I think it actually backfired and made me seem mean and overbearing. Tis cause and effect I suppose. I tired hard only to fail miserably. I got scared and was hesitant about starting any new relationships. I fumbled around and tripped all over myself. I guess now is the time where I get on the horse again, ay?
A full-fledged serious relationship was out of the question at the time, but I must admit that I still toyed with the idea of having a boyfriend for a while. Still, the thought in my head lurks… Should I let my guard down and just let someone sweep me off my feet? On the more realistic side, should I stop dooming the relationship before it even begins? Logically, the answer would be yes… Somehow, I know that my over analytical self will try to spoil it anyway. I’m a surprise ruin-er. I’m the person who always tries to figure out what it is before it happens. The sad part is… I almost always get it right. After I figure it out, I’m excited for all of 2 minutes and then I start to wish I would’ve just waited for the surprise.
Who wants Mr.Perfect anyway? He’s boring. Cookie cutter types are for squares. I want Mr.Perfect for Marie.
After having a relationship and married for 13 years I used to dream of a romantic relationship. The thing I found most was that in my romantic relationship you would sacrific so much of you because you want to please someone thinking they loved you. They loved you but they had rules which would not be the same as mine and of course being a romantic relationship it was not easy rocking the boat.
Now I am in a new relationship which is 18 years old and We never agree on anything but we love each other and care for each other. Having a different opinion is OK. It’s alot more fun and healthier for us both.
Comment by ali — January 22, 2008 @ 7:57 am
soo many blogs to keep track of.
Comment by shey — January 22, 2008 @ 8:30 am
Hmm, sounds like you got some bad binding problems, see I myself am very analytically. I over analyse everthing that comes my way that is just not fair for all my dates and partners! Here is the true secret of life. There is no Mr. Perfect! And there will never be a Mr. Perfect, there are just people you enjoy being with. They all have their faults, and you will always have your doubts, but if your doubts and fears rule you life you will never be happy, even if Mr. Perfect exists you would just find some other fault. Out of my experience I have learnt that the perfection lies in the imperfection of your partner. You will see that you grow to love his faults and you can accept them. If you bring up your defenses everytime you think someone is nice you will always drive them away or make them insecure, which for most women is a fault they can not tolerat. Security and warmth is the secret, if you dont feel secure or dont feel comfortable around someone then it might be the wrong guy! I dont know if that helps you in any kind but it helpt me in the past. And you know another secret that I want to share with you is that failure is just the beginning of a new trail. And this time you got more experience, you can learn from your and his faults! So I got to go back to studying got exams the next 3 weeks.
Peace Zimmy
Comment by Zimmy aka Wise Guy — February 13, 2008 @ 2:51 pm